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Archive - June, 2012
Leading a Small Group
This is the landing page for a new blog series on leading a small group. Each Thursday a new installment will be posted and you can find all the updates here.
From kids to adults churches are full of small groups. We have small groups, Sunday School classes, teams, Bible studies, committees, cell groups, house churches, service groups or whatever other groups we come up with.
Some of these groups have been together for decades and others don’t even get off the ground before they get started. Group dynamics can be weird and in the worst case fairly destructive. That pray request that is really gossip and the seemingly off-handed comment that is actually fishing for other critics.
As pastors and leaders we lead most of the groups we are in and as Rookie Pastors we can underestimate how hard it is to lead them. Just getting through a group is hard, actually moving someone towards discipleship can sometimes feel impossible.
I’ve been in my fair share of groups with teenagers, adults, and seniors that went nothing like I had planned. In my mind the conversation would be vibrant and full of depth, while in reality all I got was crickets and a hijacked conversation.
Over the last three years I have taken on the role of Groups pastor and made small groups the focus of the Student Ministry that I also lead. So I have plenty of mistakes to learn from, and consequently to share with you.
- Work Backwards
- Know the Motives
- Go Easy on the Newbies
- Pre-Game
- Curriculum
- Clear Commitment
- Don’t be Awkward
- Ground Rules
- Have a Partner
- Prime the Pump
- Get Out of the Living Room
- New Leaders
- Splits and Break-ups
So what makes a good small group?
Comment with your answers!
Free eBook: The Rookie Pastor Manifesto
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If we had an hour in a coffee shop or over lunch to talk about ministry I would tell you a few things about the importance of calling, the hard realities of ministry, and how to prepare for healthy ministry for the long-term.
Since I can’t sit down with all of you, I put together The Rookie Pastor Manifesto.
The Rookie Pastor Manifesto is a free eBook for new email subscribers. Short, direct, and some of the most important content from Rookie Pastor.
Part manifest, part survival guide. I wrote this with the intention of passing along some of the things that I and others in this community have been forced to learn the hard way. This isn’t a how-to guide or path to guaranteed success, but hopefully it helps you avoid not paying the “stupid tax”.
When you sign up for the newsletter you will get a link to download the pdf. If you find it helpful pass it on to someone else. This is completely free to distribute so email it, print it, share it on your website or in social media.
Engage Who You Have
Treat every gig as an opportunity to create art
It was my first speaking gig under the Rookie Pastor banner. My talk was ready, but that’s all it was, a talk. No visuals, no slides, just 20 minutes of me talking.
I showed up early. Too early in fact, they had changed the conference schedule and the handful of attendees were out to lunch as the previous speaker was a no show. My slot was pushed back and while I waited my anxiety started.
This is going to be embarrassing.
What am I doing here?
What a waste of time, this is going to be horrible.
And of course, it was.
30 in 30: Find the Hangouts
This is part of a blog series that has 30 practical tips for the pastor looking to start or restart well. You can get the entire series as a Kindle
Find the Hangouts
It may seem like political maneuvering (partly because it is) but you need to be seen. Therefore go to where the people are.
What I love about talking to other Rookie Pastors is the energy they have for what God has put in front of them and their willingness to do whatever it takes. That attitude, particularly in terms of doing things different relative to the past, is incredibly encouraging.
If there was one theme I’ve heard it is the idea of going instead of receiving. Models that only expect people to show up are proving less effective and the emergence of the missional concept is indicative of this shift. Continue Reading…
How Do You Get Out Of The Rut?
What do you do when you don’t want to do ministry?
My own struggle with identity and anxiety has created numerous times when I didn’t feel like being a pastor. For me the rut is always full of apathy.
As pastors we will have varying degrees of darkness in our life. Sometimes this darkness requires the help of professionals to help you return to balance. In these moments ministry isn’t very feasible. Most of the time the rut is a milder form of darkness that holds us back but force us to step away from ministry for a time.
When we are in this rut our responsibilities don’t cease. So we have to find ways to get out of the rut. Here’s what I’ve done before.
- Quiet with God. Not just reading and praying more, but doing so with intention. Lectio Divina was a game changer for me.
- Read. Not for information transfer or reflection, I love to read with those intentions, in the rut I need to escape in a book and enjoy finishing something.
- Exercise. I’ve never regretted exercise. Stress pushes me to the rut and exercise is my most productive stress relief.
- Write. Here in particular. Knowing that what I have to say is an encouragement to you is huge. The motivation and change in perspective helps me get out of the rut.
- Connecting with Friends. The friends who know me the best and before I was in ministry, forever friends. Ministry is lonely and I need to connect with people who won’t question a ministry decision but will question my heart.
I know you have your own ruts in ministry, how do you get out of them?
Monday Morning Quick Hits
- And We’re back! Thanks for bearing with me as I had to put Rookie Pastor on the back burner the past few days. We hosted our own youth retreat and in the aftermath I have two thoughts: 1. I get to work with awesome students and adults. 2. Hosting an event is immensely harder than letting someone else host it.
- Your ministry, your brand, your business is built on trust. Build it.
- Seth Godin with a humorous and realistic look at how people succeed.
- Don’t be the person who wants to be a writer, be a writer.
- Challies on the state of preaching.
- As a leader you need people around you. Understand who those people are and how they can help and how they can pull you down.
- Prospective church planters. Church planting critics and skeptics. The church planting naive. All of you need to read this.
- If you are distracted you were probably doing something good before. Go back to that.
- Ben Arment tells you (and me) to quit following so many people.
- In my mind I go from big event to big event. Whether it is ministry or life I don’t naturally think past the next big thing. Sunday afternoon the next big thing became the birth of my son. Here. We. Go.
- Will that be smartphone or non-smartphone seating?
- Humility. Hunger. Happiness. Rookie Pastors need all three.
- Took today off work and the plan is to turn it into a finish day. Too many projects sitting in purgatory, time to hit publish.
- We give small group stereotypes too much power.
- Only responding to critics doesn’t fix problems.
- Talking about “my legacy” means you have already lost.
- Any story that mentions Andy Stanley next to Lady Gaga you read.
Freedom from Reactions
On paper I knew I wanted to start well by being proactive and not reactive. Rookie Pastors don’t operate on paper, we operate in a messy reality full of variables called people. People that are looking to influence (or force) you into a decision or preferred action.
It usually starts out innocent enough. You get invited over for dinner or they stop by your office to chat. Sometimes motives aren’t pure and sometimes it just comes across that way. This reality is why we are so familiar with cynicism.
Being reactionary can even feel right. What do you know? You are the new leader on the scene without much experience. Plus you were brought in to fix things, to change culture anyway, right?
30 in 30: Meet Other Pastors in the Area
This is part of a blog series that has 30 practical tips for the pastor looking to start or restart well. You can get the entire series as a Kindle
Meet Other Pastors in the Area
I really don’t understand why churches don’t partner more often. I have seen how they don’t and observed the way pride has prevented me from collaborating, but it still doesn’t make sense. When you really consider it churches and pastors not having some sort of partnerships make drama among middle school girls look sophisticated.
One of your biggest challenges as you get settled in is to figure out the local culture. Every community has a specific rhythm, pace, and to some extent a specific set of values that are vital to understand.
The easiest shortcut to figuring some of these things out is to talk to those who have been living it. There will be some that give you the run around and won’t jump at the idea of talking to the new kid in town. Then there will be the majority that will be more than willing to talk, but just had to be asked.
May Recap
Loved how last month I was able to connect with many of you through social media and email. Really appreciate the feedback and being given an opportunity to help. Here are some of my favorite posts from this past month.
Rookie Pastor, Rookie Dad
We are expecting our first child, a boy in the next month or so. I’m starting to get excited and a little scared. Realizing that life is going to get crazy once he gets here I’m looking for people to contribute something here.
If you are a dad and Rookie Pastor, send me your best piece advice on how you can balance both. Put something in the comments or send me an email josh(at)rookiepastor(dot)com.
Learn Without Circles
It is so easy to ignore someone just because they are outside of our approved circle. Imagine what we are missing out on.
Take a chance and trust yourself.
I Now Pronounce You
Everyone seems to have a reaction to the same sex marriage news of the last month, so this is mine but it probably isn’t what you would expect.
The other thing you can learn about this post is that sometimes people comment on posts without reading them and sometimes you write something you think is clear but isn’t.
Finding a Church Job
Finished up this blog series in May. Cover a lot of ground on this one and hopefully it helped a few folks out.
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