David Kinnaman is someone you need to listen to, and I would like to give you a copy of his latest book.
His first book unChristian
Through the generosity of Baker Books we are giving away 5 copies of You Lost Me to the Rookie Pastor community.
Before I tell you how to win one of the copies you should watch this video about the book.
To enter to win all you have to do is help get the word out:
- Comment below on your thoughts on young people leaving the church. +1 entry.
- Tweet something like: Get a free copy of You Lost Me by @DavidKinnaman: http://bit.ly/LCFpOi | via @RookiePastor (include @rookiepastor to guarantee I see it) for another +1 entry.
- Share this post on Facebook for another +1 entry.
The contest will come to a close Friday (7/6) at 10pm EST.
And the winners are:
- Brian Cain
- Cailey Dumler
- @PastorPitman
- @ChrisSprad
- @sherrieo213
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I think a big reason that the youth are leaving the church is because, despite our best efforts to be contemporary, we are just forming a new traditional style church. They are looking for something different. They don’t know what that is, but they know that it doesn’t look like sitting in a seat on Sunday Morning. Also, they have gifts that aren’t being utilized. Churches have a bad habit of saying that the only service that matters is service to the church. If their gifts don’t fit in the context of Sunday morning, they automatically get discounted.
Let’s find a way to include them!
Lot of good stuff there Brian, particularly the new traditional style.
Directing folks outside of the church to serve is something I would assume most churches don’t connect on.
I think one reason why people are leaving the church is because we try to make the church “hip” and “fun” while sacrificing the Gospel. People need to hear they are sinners and even though we are sinners, Christ died in order to redeem us. We’re missing that message in order to get them in the pews. Once they’re there, we’re not feeding them as we ought.
One of my youth ministry maxims is that I can’t compete as an entertainment option. We have fun, but that can’t be our main strategy for connecting with students.
Simple facts, the youth are leaving the church is that, the patents fails to show them that God is real in their own life and not spending enough time to talk about Jesus and His salvation!!
Parents play a role for sure, but I don’t think it is that simple. Problems this complex never have a simple answer.
There is no simple answer why the younger demographic is leaving the church–it is a complex mix of multiple factors. But one reason is because this age group can sniff out “faking it” and “putting on a good show” from a mile away. They want a vibrant authentic faith, but often times what they see around them (in their parents and others) is Sunday-only Christianity. Who wants that?
what he said.
I would echo Dan’s comment in regards to the younger generation sniffing out the authentic and the fake. They want to see that the lives of the adults around them show consistency and integrity of character – those adults should be the same people on Thursday night as they are on Sunday morning.
A teenager’s B.S. meter is highly attuned.
I think one of the biggest reasons that young adults are not going to church is because they don’t see any intrinsic value to being part of a local body. They feel that faith is an individual walk that they don’t need someone to guide them through. This is the biggest challenge to opening our churches up to welcome them in wherever they are with whatever they are dealing with and not expecting them to just do everything right on the first try.
We’re afraid that if they ask certain questions we’ll lose them, so we don’t give young people (and many older people) freedom to ask them out loud. Trouble is…they’re still asking the questions inside and we don’t have a chance to talk about the possible answers that exist in the world and within Christianity. So they look everywhere except the church for answers and then we’re stunned when we find out they’ve been lost.
Dealing with these questions out loud is messy and confusing in the present, but not nearly as messy and confusing as it becomes in the future if we don’t allow them to be asked.
I’ve heard of parents who don’t want their kids to have to relearn things as they get older. Same principle could work in churches.
I love Jim Shaddix’s thoughts on this issue and quite frankly, I think we’re missing the boat whenever we think it’s worship or architectural style.
Had a professor who talked about postmodernism over extended leads to nihilism, that running to nothing is not a hopeful place.
The truth is the youth of today are very aware of the hypocrisy of government and religion. They have a strong desire to make a difference in their communities, nation and world, but have lost all respect and trust in authority. More are willing to go it alone because our society has shown that everything you can believe in or cling to is jaded and self-serving.
Churches try to get in their heads with rock bands for worship teams and mission trips that are more “trip” than “mission” when what they want is to get their hands dirty. They want to see faith lived out every day an here at home, not just in Haiti and Africa. They want to believe in the institution of marriage, even though pop icons have demolished it’s sanctity. They want a role model that will go the distance, not one who has skeletons in the closet, under the bed and in the trunk of his car.
They want real answers to real questions. They want the truth even if it hurts as long as it comes from a credible source. Since none of these things are available, they cling to the immediacy and conformity of music, fashion and media because although it changes and is paper thin, it maintains relevance to their existence.
Ok PJ, how do we fight that cynicism that is so rampant? How do we attain that much talked about word “authenticity”?
Our organization has taken the church out of the building. We preach in the streets and we wage war against the sin that blinds the complacent Christian and binds the addicted and lost sheep among the homeless population in downtown Orlando. I preach Christ crucified and the relevance and reward of obedience to the Scriptures.
We have seen new fire and restoration of fire in the hearts of our volunteers of all ages. Hipsters, preteens, jocks, geeks, empty nesters, professionals; so many have come to recognize the hypocrisy of their own lives as their prejudices, egos and complacency falls to the ground as they extend themselves to help our homeless friends.
We have Southern Baptists, Presbyterians, Seventh Day Adventists, etc. joining together to be the hands and feet of Christ. This all happened because we project a biblical worldview and a simple agenda to help those who need it. We trust in God to provide and he has shown his favor. We trust in God to reveal and he has displayed miracles in the handful of life changes we have been blessed to witness. We have seen those who think they have nothing to offer impact lives with nothing more than a smile.
Most importantly, we have seen people take control of and claim their faith, rather than leave it on the pew to pick it back up the following Sunday. God is good!!
Ironic that I stumble onto this post today after reading a friend’s blog suggesting that the church has become irrelevant (http://www.daviddrury.com/2012/07/03/the-transcendant-god-and-his-irrelevant-church/).
Although as a youth pastor I can make youth group a tad more relevant to students, I am largely unable to affect the entire culture of a church. It is this culture that youth and young Christians feel on a Sunday morning that I think makes the church feel irrelevant to them.
What do they “get” out of it? We can’t expect them to feel as satisfied as more mature Christians that are content to wait on the Lord. When they still have life closing in on all sides and don’t feel like they’re getting much help or support from the Church then it does make the Church feel a bit irrelevant. The idea of “sharing life” together is a big draw to younger generations, and they flock to wherever they can find that sort of community.
If it’s not the church, then no wonder they’re leaving. Once the church finds a way to meet needs, embrace the “vagabonds” of society, and make younger generations feel like they are integral and necessary parts of the Church, then we won’t be losing them. Otherwise, repeat the same steps to get the same sad results.
I am a believer that a youth or children’s pastor can change the culture more than they often give themselves credit for. People respond to the incarnation of Christ and servant leadership from anyone regardless of title.
I’m not sure what the answer is. I know that I, as a youth pastor, get frustrated with church sometimes. We have made coming to a worship service where we mostly sit and watch the stage the epitome and climax of Christianity. I don’t think that was ever supposed to be the case. We have made “BEING A CHRISTIAN = COMING TO CHURCH.” There sure seems to be a whole lot more to it that that – we don’t see a whole lot of church services in Acts. We have to disciple and engage people in what it really means to follow Christ.
Religious historian Martin E Marty talks about the marketplace of religion, it isn’t encouraging. The consumer mindset is very dangerous.
Okay, I slept on this, and here’s what I’ve come up with based on my own experiences with leaving a church I attended and/or worked for almost 5 years.
reasons young people are leaving:
1. business and politics
a. elders (doctors, administrators, businesspersons, lawyers) who say the church shouldn’t confront sin because it might scare people away. A concern of humans, not God.
b.Erasing Christ from the organization, i.e. new buildings without crosses or the word “church” or the name or initials of the denomination. CCCU, UMC, etc.
b1. Expecting to grow like the Acts 2 church while using a pre-crucifixion mentality of the disciples – “who? Jesus? Nope, we’re not with him.”
2. being treated like they don’t matter or aren’t worthy
a. staff members being told they shouldn’t mingle with the congregation.
b. congregations being told things untrue to illicit the results the leaders desire, and then upon realizing the lie being told “If you don’t like it, quit.”
c. once you’re in, its all about those who aren’t, to some extent, therefore if you want the church to care about you, its better to stay away.
d. expressing interest in serving, and being turned away.
e. staff members being fired for filing a grievance against a pastor (goes with #1 as well.)
f. newcomers being told that worshipfulness of materials is based on its copyright year. Therefore certain songs are too old for new people to find worshipful because the veterans are tired of it, making the veterans of the church more important than younger generation.
3. Lack of Identity in Ministry
If they can’t get on board 100% they won’t stick around, they’re so used to being able to flip channels or radio stations that if they aren’t inspired by the entire worship service, they’re led to the cafe, which is near the doors, and before you know it they’re out the doors and don’t come back.
4. Misc.
a. church leaders and members having a “world mindset” and “church mindset.”
b. fruit drink sermons that contain 3% truth, 97% artificial junk and sugar coating.
c. morale of staff and congregation.
d. being used as a gateway to others. i.e. “your friend is a great musician but he won’t play with us. Would he join our band if you were playing with us?” and such.
Chris thanks for participating and commenting, sorry to hear that you have left a church after a long season with them. I appreciate that you have a unique view on this issue but I do have a few points of disagreement with you, below are my responses.
1. Removing the issue of sin and Christ himself is a major concern but to look to outward appearances like a physical cross is short sighted. Understandably some appreciate this and see it as a sign of commitment, I happen to work at a church that doesn’t have a cross and folks have told us that because of that they gave us a shot. Using your logic from b1 should we not have a cross at all and replace it with an empty cave?
2. The research and the stories from young people leaving would confirm your premise that people aren’t valuable. However you lose me with some of your supporting points particularly a,b, and e. The balance between evangelism and discipleship is always tenuous as you allude to in c, but we must also be mindful of a consumer mindset discipleship. As someone who works with getting people involved in service or groups I recognize that some fall through the cracks but we are working hard to eliminate that.
3. Identity and a focus of that identity is paramount. However I don’t think the worship service is the hook that gets young people involved. It is where they end up on after finding community, involvement and value. So in theory they could start in the cafe and move to the worship area, as opposed to the other way around.
I value your opinion, but many of your experiences simply don’t match mine so I am having a hard time following all of your reasoning.
Thanks for responding! I understand not all will have had the experiences I and mine have, these are simply reasons that I’ve watched one church in particular drop members like a tree dropping leaves.
1. My B1 is a continuation of Peter’s denial of Christ, in the face of vision that proposes that we grow our churches the way the first disciples grew them in Acts 2, post resurrection. God says get off the fence and choose a side, that He’d rather have you against him than indifferent. I can’t easily support an organization who has to lie about who they are, or who they’re trying to be, to get people’s approval. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be a cross, its just one basic symbol that when omitted, and given my other experiences in that church, calls into question the motives of the leadership. False advertisement and doing uncharacteristic things for attention is a big deal to me. Again, my experiences in my church. No disrespect to yours for not using exterior markings.
2. Its great that you are trying to eliminate unworthy feelings, and again these are the experiences of me and my people. Most people don’t have enough contact with staff for A and E to be an issue, and B may be unthinkable for seasoned pastors, but telling the people you want anonymous feedback and then throwing away negative comments because they didn’t put their name on it isn’t the action of a seasoned pastor. Even in multiple one-on-one situations it had been reported that pastor had used falsehoods or misdirected intentions to get a desired response.
3. Indeed the worship gathering itself isn’t where the majority will find their service calling, but worship is the flagship of the church week. Worship is to the church what Easter and Christmas are to Christianity. The majority of first time guests are worship gathering observers. If there’s no identity, once again, it calls into question the vision, and attempt to be everything to everyone. Without identity in your flagship you weaken your fleet of ministries through foggy or wishy-washy vision. When the fleet hits rough waters more are likely to jump in the lifeboats and hightail it out of there, as I have watched in that church.
The fact that not everyone can relate to my experiences is a great hope to the Christian community. This is a great topic to be discussing!
As much as I’d like to say it was/is something easy, I’m sure its most complex. However, I think church has become a place you go to be bored instead of the body of Christ that transforms us.
Being said,I think young people see us arguing about homosexuality instead of loving each other. They see us arguing about whether we should use the piano or the guitar instead of loving people. They see us making pastors our idols and then crying when they fall. The church has become a shell of what it could be, and the young are rejecting the shell, not the Christ.
I wish it were different.
Emily
Well said Emily.
Majority of our mentors/pastors have left the ministry due to “burnout” or hurts. It saddens me because they influenced my life more than words are able to express. I know that the enemy loves this and I want to witness God’s power as He raises up more pastors. Somehow, we have to begin sharing our personal stories with authenticity in hopes that others can learn and not feel alone. My prayer is to see a mighty transformation in this decade. My prayer is that we fight the enemy together and watch God prevail as He continues to raise up women and men to lead others.
If pastors are leaving the church…does this affect young people as well? Are we being relevant? We can take a stand for the Word…but we can change the method of delivery to ensure it is relevant to the younger culture.
interesting thought about pastors leaving the church contributing to this. Why trust someone who is just going to be leaving?