I’ve been debating on whether or not to publish this. Since the President announced that in his opinion he supports same sex marriage the echo chamber of the internet and social media has been in full effect. In our corner of the interwebs the usual suspects have denounced it and the usual suspects have embraced it. For something different and more thoughtful I would suggest this.
In the days preceding the President’s statement on ABC the momentum was obvious and I began to discuss this issue with several friends. One of them works for a Christian relief agency in the marketing/advocacy realm and in our conversation he said something that caught my attention and should catch yours.
You should have gotten into marketing, I wouldn’t want to be a pastor and have to deal with this for real.
His sarcasm betrays the truth. This is messy.
No matter where we land on this issue we cause division and pain. If we lean in agreement with the President we lose credibility to many in our communities. However if we disagree we alienate not only those who self-identify as homosexual but their families and friends that worship with us. While refusing to make a decision isn’t realistic for others.
We can avoid it in our sermons and in leadership, but what happens when two men or two women ask you to officiate their wedding. There is no hiding at this point.
The few times I have married couples I refrain from making references to a state or country giving me power to do so. I sign the wedding certificate at the reception making me a functionary of the state, but publicly I don’t give the state of Indiana the credit.
There have been times in my life when I have strongly opposed the separation of church and state, for most of my adult life though I have strongly embraced it.
I don’t want any government body or agency to have a say in how I live out my role as a pastor. So when I marry someone I don’t much care what the government thinks.
For the government marriage is a category for taxation.
For the church marriage is a sacrament.
I am fine with those two coexisting.
I see a time when I counsel engaged couples to pay a visit to the courthouse and to let our holy ceremony and celebration to be separate. This is where I see myself pragmatically landing.
We can debate and yell and scream all we want, but in the end the question really is who has given you the power and authority to say: “I now pronounce you…”?
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OK Josh ….. But you never mentioned what should be done as a Pastor when a same sex couple ask’s you to marry them. If you did, it wasn’t clear.
I believe even though the decision or statement will not be a popular one, but as a Pastor or someone who is a notary (who are allowed to marry people) who is Christian, should say NO to marrying same sex couples … period! We need and must Stand Firm for Truth even though it won’t be popular or accepted.
The reason why Christians do NOT get persecuted in America, is because we are not radical, we don’t speak out loud, we tolerate and accept evil/sin, we are timid, etc. Look at other countries where the Christians have nothing and yet Stand Firm in their Faith & Truth and because of that, they get burned, raped, beat or killed all in the name of Jesus!
Joey, I intentionally didn’t state what a pastor should do in this case because that isn’t what this blog is about. I’m not here to tell pastors what to believe, but to support them in their calling.
Being radical is remaining faithful to your calling and maintaining integrity. Not sure that saying no to a same sex couple is the type of radical living that Jesus is calling us to.
You can pass on officiating a marriage you don’t support, but the pinnacle of being radical or being counter-cultural does not end with the same sex marriage discussion.
I’m with Josh on this one. This post was about as “gray” as someone could make it, and way too far from either “black” or “white” to offer any sort of definitive advice or direction for “rookie pastors.” This seems like one of those situations where if you don’t stand for something then you’ll fall for anything, and I’m not sure if a post like this serves anyone but the author as yet another mumbled voice using a self made platform to express opinions. I’m not even really as concerned what side of the issue you’re on as much as I am that you weren’t willing to stand for either.
It’s going to be hard to spend time personally following or to recommend this blog to other rookie pastors as a beneficial resource in the future.
I may have misread your post, but just for clarity I (Josh) am the author of this post.
There are plenty of blogs that take a definitive pro or against stance on this issue. And you could easily find scores on either side that are valuable resources to recommend to others.
What I attempted to do with this post is deal with the reality that we as pastors face. For me this is not an issue of being for or against but not becoming the tool of the state. Once I make that distinction I extricate myself from the discussion and am able to make a decision that best reflects my calling and role as a pastor as I understand it.
In my mind at the state level same sex marriages are not a matter of if but of when. As a pastor I need to understand my role in this and act faithfully in it.
Whether you support or oppose SSM as a pastor I believe this to be valuable advice.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
Well, not sure I agree with level of scrutiny the prior two posts use, but the blogger could have clarified his intentions more clearly. I would say the blogger has the more biblical approach. Jesus never concerned himself with matters of imperial rule, yet at the same time undermined everything Rome stood for. The Jews never had a vote, however, and that’s the rub. Power of the American dream has affected American Christians. Vote as you are convicted, but remember Jesus got a lot more done doing his own thing than trying to convince the powers at be how to be ethical. I think what the blogger was saying was along the lines of don’t care about what the government is doing, do what is righteous and act with conviction in spite of what they do and say. If anyone responds to this negatively, chances are I won’t really care what you have to say.
Yeah thats pretty close to my intent.