This is a tricky post to write.
Apparently I have been saying tricky a lot lately. It is such an appropriate word that works in several different contexts (and a catchy Run DMC song that just happens to be on my workout playlist).
It’s a tricky post to write because relationships as a RPW can be tricky.
As I covered in my first post, there are expectations on what this role looks like, who you’re supposed to be, and even what your kids should be like (although currently there aren’t a ton of ridiculous expectations about our yet-to-be-born child. It’s the size of a lemon.).
Your husband is in the spotlight. Whether you like it or not, that spotlight can shine on you sometimes. Maybe you’re cool with this–maybe you even love it and are filled up by this. And if that’s your story–embrace it! But my hunch is that not all of us feel this way and struggle to build real, authentic, relationships.
Why is this?
I think sometimes we choose to be guarded. It’s difficult when it feels like everyone has an opinion about your husband. Or when you feel in the middle between a perception and a partner.
And sometimes it’s easier to live life at a distance. To refuse to get close to other people, especially other women, because deep down we’re afraid of what they’ll think of us. Of what they think about the love of your life.
But who wants to live like this?
I know sometimes I let my own junk get the best of me. “He complained to me about my husband”. “Why does she have such an opinion on why we waited so long to have kids”. “She would think I am a horrible person if she knew that I struggled with all of these things”!
Relationships are risky. I have to check myself when I am getting too guarded or hesitant to share my life with others. Or when I catch the introverted side of me taking over and only going through the Sunday morning motions of putting on the RPW face instead of just going for it. The risk is worth it.
I forget that the Church is made up of imperfect people–and my imperfections and shortcomings are no different than anyone else’s. In relationships in the Church, I need to put down my fists, love bigger, and remember that this life, and everything that comes with it, is exactly where the Lord wants me to be.