Damon Lindelof, one of the show runners for Lost has been in the media lately talking about his experiences with the show. I am a fan of the show so I was pretty interested to hear about the creative process that went into the show. Always interesting to get a peek into the creative process for someone else.
One thing that he mentioned has stuck with me. He saw himself in Jack, the main character played by Matthew Fox.
In the show Jack is unwillingly put into a leadership role while dealing with the loss of his father. Lindelof was also propelled to leadership of the show unexpectantly and had also recently lost his dad. The show became his way of working through his own feelings of loss.
Rookie Pastor isn’t anything like Lost, but for me this is becoming my venue for working things out.
This is a place for you, but I am realizing it is also a place for me.
Back when I was just figuring out WordPress I told someone that blogging was cheaper than therapy. Since then I have come to learn first-hand that while cheaper it isn’t a replacement. I’ve got junk in my life and as much as I say that I want to help those young pastors who are struggling I am really trying to help myself.
I enjoy writing, but Rookie Pastor isn’t about me writing.
I love the community, but Rookie Pastor isn’t about us.
I love to learn, but Rookie Pastor isn’t about the new book.
Rookie Pastor is about me becoming who I am supposed to be in the Kingdom.
Maybe that’s selfish but if I don’t help anyone in the process it is still worthwhile for me to have this.
My default is to fix problems and be active, so it makes sense that I would try to fix problems that I would start with my own problems. In that effort I am learning that I am not alone in this struggle as a Rookie Pastor.
The fact that I am not alone in this and there are people who seem to resonate with this idea of supporting one another has created some needed accountability. Those days where I don’t want to explore the issues that hold me back it helps to know that this isn’t about me anymore.
Your involvement is helping me heal.
So thanks for helping me keep up the charade that I am the one helping you.